I’ve been thinking a lot about my own intuition lately, and how the more I practice an aligned and intuitive approach to life, the more I am guided towards the right people and the right things I need to go do, learn, or try. The more I connect to my intuition, the more I also experience the light and the depths of darkness in my own spirit. This is the more spiritual and embodied part of healing my relationship to food.
Once we trust ourselves around a basic and primal desire, once we nourish that desire and stop depriving it, we begin to really trust ourselves in other areas of life.
I’m not the most spiritual thinker. If anything, my graduate studies in Philosophy have made me into a critical thinker who approaches life pretty pragmatically. Yet, I want to start to believe in magic again, in higher things. I want to believe healing and happiness is available to all of us, and that we just need the right roadmap and a powerful message that speaks to us from whatever sources, people, books get put in our path.
Eating like a “normal” eater is today almost second nature to me today, but it wasn’t in the past.
I struggled and was a prisoner to my own obsessive food thoughts and my own emotional ties to food. I’ve shared my story a lot in my blog, so what I want to cover today is the concept of doing what we want, and eating what we want. Such a liberating and yet scary concept, no?
When I first started teaching intuitive eating principles to others, I focused on this concept…
You CAN eat what you want. Imagine that.
Some of my early clients would respond to me “No, I can’t! If I did, I would eat the whole fridge and never stop!!!”
And I would explain to them that this belief makes sense when we come from a place of fear and not trusting ourselves around food (or life). But that if we keep an open mind, we can try and hold this new principle of eating whatever we want.
And let’s hold it against the opposite principle…the idea of NOT eating what we want.
That’s basically what I call restricting emotionally and physically…
When I tell myself “I cannot have this cookie. I won’t eat the cookie…” This is what generates a feeling of deprivation around food. Have you ever eaten something with guilt and shame, after saying, “I’m not going to do it?” but then you gave in? Do you feel out of control in these situations? If you do, so did I. This is because I was reacting to the self imposed, “no.”
So my question to you is, how is NOT allowing yourself to do what you want working for you?
It probably isn’t? And my proposal is to shift our mindset. To really trust that we can eat what we want.
My proposal is that you ask yourself…what do I want? and that you eat something because you want to.
In the past, my overeating was also conditioned by thinking I HAD TO finish the whole thing. I thought that I had to eat all this food now because I would never eat it again tomorrow. I thought I had to get it all in as fast as possible before my roommates came back and found that I was eating their food. I had to eat it all because it was free. I had to eat it all now because it tasted better fresh and I didn’t want it to go to waste.
I didn’t eat because I wanted to, I ate because I had to, and I was reacting to future deprivation (the promise I will eat clean or eat only “healthy” foods tomorrow.)
My proposal is that you take a deep breath and try this new approach…
You can eat what you want, you can do what you want.
What do you want to eat? Deep breath…
I can have dessert any time I want, I can have it until I don’t want it anymore. Do I still want this dessert? yeah. What about now? Nah, I don’t feel like it anymore. I can have it tomorrow.
I can have anything whenever I want. So maybe I want a salad now, maybe a snack. That feels good. I can have chips whenever I want. Maybe some now, maybe the rest later, who knows.
This is the beginning of healing our relationship to food.
Slowly, we begin to really allow food and reconnect to abundance. Slowly, we get out of scarcity mentality around food and our survival mechanisms turn off. We begin to trust ourselves around food, and with time and a new practice, around life.
It starts with a simple step, asking “what do I want to eat?”
Then we can go from there.
If you want to work one on one with me for more coaching on these principles, get on my calendar for a free consultation here.
Until next time babes!